I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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