Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
