Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
