I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
