I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
third nipple confirmed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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