ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
