So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
