Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
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You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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