He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Never underestimate the power of titties
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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