totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
