grandma shit on top of the toilet
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
