Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am never drinking with the goths again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
