he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize