This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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