So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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