Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
