forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize