as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
