I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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