Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
