You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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