I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
