if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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