i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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