i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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