If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We had sex on a dog bed..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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