I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize