He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize