I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I want to fling myself into the sun
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
