I queefed so loud it echoed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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