found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize