oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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