i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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