While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
