You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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