when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize