Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
