i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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