R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
