weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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