so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
