I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
