Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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