I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
