I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
