oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
