The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ladies don't puke and tell
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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