When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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