It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
