I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i think my cat just said my name.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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