I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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