Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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