whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.