Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

(716): View more from New York

i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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(630): bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face. (716): i dont this its possible to queef on command. http://tfl.nu/u9ov

Replies (90) Good night (825) Bad night (2770)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.

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(318): I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky. http://tfl.nu/cr7y

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks

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(717): i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks http://tfl.nu/zwks

Replies (30) Good night (5146) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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(954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l

Replies (13) Good night (1016) Bad night (3704) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.

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(920): She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off. http://tfl.nu/r6m3

Replies (12) Good night (4209) Bad night (1535) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.

(1-970): View more from Colorado

Soup is delicious

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(970): I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup. (1-970): Soup is delicious http://tfl.nu/y0l8

Replies (12) Good night (4697) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on

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(210): i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on http://tfl.nu/7n7l

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(847): View more from Illinois

He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.

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(847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. http://tfl.nu/2tlf

Replies (20) Good night (6619) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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(616): I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady. http://tfl.nu/ufs6

Replies (3) Good night (1858) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.

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(570): Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least. http://tfl.nu/etpi

Replies (2) Good night (1719) Bad night (440)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.

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(856): two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets. http://tfl.nu/gsqf

Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (1620) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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(202): Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395... http://tfl.nu/2tco

Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (1456) Order T-Shirt
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there

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(501): Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there http://tfl.nu/0rjt

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(870): View more from Arkansas

when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"

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(870): when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned" http://tfl.nu/0h81

Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (299)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous

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(515): Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous http://tfl.nu/c0i4

Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (148)

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