Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.

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  (410): Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer. http://tfl.nu/2her
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (794)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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  (937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr
  Replies (66) Good night (696) Bad night (5106)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer

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  (570): Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer http://tfl.nu/4zlr
  Replies (30) Good night (781) Bad night (2724)
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  (909): View more from California

  Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.

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  (909): Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave. http://tfl.nu/ztn7
  Replies (22) Good night (1707) Bad night (3430)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

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  (646): I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing http://tfl.nu/0l5a
  Replies (15) Good night (1058) Bad night (4062)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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  (248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on
  Replies (18) Good night (4552) Bad night (1117)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

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  (903): I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk" http://tfl.nu/2chc
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (2191)
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  (925): View more from California

  I hope this adventure ends at a hospital

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  (925): I hope this adventure ends at a hospital http://tfl.nu/tvb7
  Replies (2) Good night (2205) Bad night (1158)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?

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  (303): Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog? http://tfl.nu/kw07
  Replies (13) Good night (1754) Bad night (2632)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.

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  (801): He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life. http://tfl.nu/m63k
  Replies (10) Good night (890) Bad night (2354)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.

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  (503): I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it. http://tfl.nu/30lr
  Replies (12) Good night (2531) Bad night (944)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.

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  (405): It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/gobu
  Replies (6) Good night (668) Bad night (1711)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.

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  (503): I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together. http://tfl.nu/6ddq
  Replies (15) Good night (1690) Bad night (589)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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  (803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z
  Replies (4) Good night (1376) Bad night (447)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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  (540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (234)

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