Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
