Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne http://tfl.nu/p5m6
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (942) Bad night (10380)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p
  Replies (19) Good night (979) Bad night (3326)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum http://tfl.nu/2gzo
  Replies (6) Good night (3949) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30 http://tfl.nu/6e6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2188) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/0wae
  Replies (2) Good night (1676) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy
  Replies (13) Good night (1792) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point. http://tfl.nu/zkwk
  Replies (4) Good night (1403) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen" http://tfl.nu/78x7
  Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty. http://tfl.nu/ysw1
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1425) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C. http://tfl.nu/gqta
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk. http://tfl.nu/q1g3
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (402)

Randomize