I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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