what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
