I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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